Not a Joke
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: Have you ever had a REALLY, bad day? I did, once. One bad day, and my mind let go of the wheel. All because of HIM. Now I look like...this. They won't even look at me! They think I'm a joke, do they? They think its funny! Well its Not a Joke, not to me. We'll see who gets the last laugh when I kill them all... Narutoxharem! Part of the Not Going Home Series! WARNING! DARK!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** **A/N: I return my subjects! For any wondering, YES I have been doing many things involved with the Joker as of late. Why, you ask? Because in all honesty, I'm not sure how Jared Leto is going to measure up to legends like Heath Ledger, Mark Hamill, and more recently, Troy Baker. I mean, I saw the Suicide Squad trailer and I was, well...kinda mixed on it.**

 **Still, back to the reason I'm writing this dark little masterpiece.**

 **I have seen, many fanfics. Some, in which the Joker even takes in Naruto-wow-and a few of those are quite good. But what I haven't seen, or yet to see rather, is this exact scenario taking place, the one that I concocted in my head. See, I got burned the other day by some chemicals while working on the job.**

 **Yup, ouch ouch and OUCH!**

 **Nothing too bad, mind you but I messed up my right arm and part of my face pretty bad. Burns like hell! They said I was lucky. Riiiiiight. And ironically, as I'd sat there in my bed, recovering...**

 **...this idea just popped out.**

 **when I saw that there were so few Naruto crossovers with it and all the INSANITY that takes places throughout, well, the gears in my mind got to turning.** **As another note, this is, in a distant way of its own, a part sort the "Not Going Home" series as a whole, chronicling the adventures of our dimension hopping blond as he wreaks chaos wherever he goes, including alternate ones that may or may not involve different "versions" of himself, as it were.**

 **However, this takes a bit of a dark turn early on, AS IN RIGHT NOW, because we see something horrible happen and in a way, he's sort of responsible for it. READ CAREFULLY! This chronicles one of the earlier adventure's in Not Going Home, the THIRD to be exact, in which Naruto tries creating his own universe, based on what he's seen thus far.**

 **...needless to say, it doesn't end well.**

 **I won't spoil it, so be sure to read on!**

 **Again, before reading this, I SERIOUSLY suggest you stop and read Not Going Home and all its companions, first.**

 **So, I've been going over reviews, and an anonymous reviewer said something that really resonated with me. I love to write. But sometimes, I feel that this gift owns me, rather than I, owning it. Its like a beast inside me, this urge to create, but I can't control it very well, which results in a LOT of new stories. So as of last night, and continuing throughout the week, I'm purging stories that won't be continued, or works that no one enjoys anymore.**

 **Let me know which ones you feel should be continued, before its too late! Don't worry, many of the major ones will remain, but anything from 2008-2009 is likely going out the window with all the rest of the trash, never to be seen again. This may seem sudden I know, but I'm only purging the forgotten fics that no one cares for. Fear not, its not going to be immediate, but it WILL happen, I simply wanted to get this out as a forewarning.**

 **This will be of very few new stories I plan to release, god willing. If I have an idea, I plan to make it a damn good one before I just toss it out there, as I devote myself to my other works, soon to number into the hundreds, and potentially dozens as I whittle them down. I need to reassess why I want to write, for the joy of it, and I can't do that by letting you guys down with old, crappy stories I wrote way back in my early days.**

 **ALSO!**

 **RESTORED!**

 **I've talked with the ADmins and gotten my works back, but I have to edit them so they can fit within the guidelines once again!**

 **Viper, Dawn of Daybreak, Conqueror of Nations, Red Wing, Hurt, Blade of the Kitsune and Counting Stars, all of which were deleted by FANFICTION for some reason due to having a supposedly explicit rating, they are now BACK, reviews and all!**

 **HUZZAH!**

 **LET THE NEW ERA BEGIN! Also yes, insanity abounds here so...**

 **...off we go! I proudly present NOT A JOKE! WARNING! ITS KINDA DARK! Remember, this fic is dark, and also quite crackish-NOT A PARODY!-so while I ask you to take it seriously, I do hope that you won't take it too seriously and enjoy it to the fullest, dear reader. Hope ya like it!**

 _"Now everything is white, oh what a fright, what an awful day~!"  
_

 _~?!_

 **Stain**

 _Tell me something my dear reader - have "you" ever had a really BAD day?_

 _I have._

 _A day that starts out oh-so-simple; you get out of bed grab some breakfast, brush your teeth, shower, toss on your clothes, and head out to start your day. The endless monotony of another day-to-day existence made manifest by the hand of some deranged god. You sleep, eat, work and play..._

 _...until fate tears your identity away._

 _You know, fate **is** a funny thing. Its always plucking at you, tearing at you, ripping you apart. You don't notice it at first, oh no, not at all. And then, THEN you meet someone who changes your life. And you feel that you don't even know who you are any more. Isn't it funny how one little encounter can CLEAVE off little pieces of your past, DEFORM all your memories and persona, until you rethink your whole identity – and as you realize how foolish it all is, your LAUGHTER reverberates off the wall of your own emptiness._

 _Ah, but I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? Lets get back to it, shall we? How I became this...well, I'm not even sure what I am! HA!_

 _It all started with a prank._

 _A joke really, something meant to get everyone's attention. A good laugh. Nothing more, nothing less. An old man with the horns had suggested it to me and at first, I ignored him altogether. He seemed...off. Someone who lived only to enjoy himself, and the chaos that he caused. Still, he pestered me enough that I finally caved_

 _Stealing the Stone Faces._

 _He said he'd put them right back, he just wanted to see how they would react. All I had to do was place the seals. Easy. Simple. Nothing bad would happen. I listened to him! I BELIEVED him! What a joke! Did I believe, somewhere deep, deep down in the halls of my own, broken psyche, that everything would turn out alright? That I would simply continue, as I always had?_

 _Perhaps I did._

 _It was meant to be a simple prank, an exceedingly simply one. Get in, get out, have a few laughs later at everyone's expense. All part of the plan of course. Just something simple, a quick in and out, an idea that was practically guaranteed to get him attention. At only twelve years old, one might not think this very wise of me but hey-what could go wrong? I was young. Naive. Downright stupid, even. Ah, but is the past now isn't it, before I took the emergency exit into madness._

 _Now, back to the foul, vile, PUTRID question at hand._

 _What could possibly go wrong, you ask?_

 _The answer, my dear chums?_

 _Every._

 _Little._

 _Thing._

* * *

Naruto, was a prankster.

A joker, really.

He thrived on the attention that such pranks earned him, reveled in the notoriety of it all. If no one would acknowledge his existence, well, then he'd make them. And what better way than to start trouble? It was one of the few-if only-ways to make anyone look at him these days. He'd gladly accept their spite, their scorn, their startled faces, if only he could laugh at them. They _had_ to acknowledge him then, whether they wanted to do so or not.

Today had been no different.

Apply those wonderful seals to the stone faces, one for each, sit back, and watch what happened.

Two days, three hours, and four minutes, exact. That was precisely how long it had taken them to track him down, catch him. Only five _seconds_ to beat his door down-knock him out-and beat him into bloody oblivion. It seemed like a lifetime ago now, yet still he knew it was as plain as day. So was the pain, the angry, hot tethers of agony searing through his arms, then, legs. The torment. The madness. Every waking moment a test of will as his captors cut into him, always asking:

 _"What did you do with them?!"_

But Naruto didn't know; how could he? He tried to tell them, he really did, but they didn't believe him. No amount of Ibiki's torture could extract information that simply wasn't there. But the man did his best, and doing so broke something inside the young boy. Days upon days of torment passed by, seemingly without relent. Then, when he had screamed his throat raw, he was beaten into blackness once more.

Now, as he woke, he almost wished for the dark.

The first thing he realized was that his hands and feet were bound, tied against his back as well as a slim post, suspending him over...green?! Blinking blurry eyes, he beheld was the green, gleaming liquid hanging just below him. And he was dangling over it, separated from it and the void by only a thin tether of rope. The putrid smell wafted into his nose and he bucked, desperately trying to distance himself from it. All he succeeded in doing was thrashing around like a worm on a hook.

"W-W-W-W-What the hell?!" he cried. "What is this! Lemme go!"

"Oh, good, you're awake." a new voice chimed, just out of view. "I was afraid they'd find me before I finished with you."

"Who...?!"

"QUIET, DEMON!"

"I'm not a-

"SILENCE!"

A sandalled foot swung upward, crashing into his face, taking a tooth and sending his body swinging on the cord.

Naruto could only snarl.

"This is where the village manufactures its poisons, antidotes, acids, medicines and the like." the voice continued with a soft hum, as if they were merely discussing the weather. "Wanna guess which vat this is?" Naruto craned his neck with all of his might, and was rewarded with a glimpse of dark, beady eyes, framed by silver hair. _Mizuki._ The very man he'd spoken with only hours before being captured. He'd wanted to reverse what he'd done to the faces and confided in his teacher, but instead...instead...!

"You traitor! You sold me out!"

"Yes," he nodded, "I did."

"Piss off!"

"Aw, that's rude. And here I thought my jokes were bad. Though I suppose I shouldn't expect any less of the Nine-Tails."

...what?"

"Ara, did I forget to mention that? Doesn't matter I suppose, you'll be dead soon anyway."

Naruto struggled even harder, to no avail.

 _Clink._

He hadn't expected to get caught. Alright, maybe he had. After all, it had happened before, and he'd usually be let off with a stern warning. Maybe confined to house arrest as he had been after painting that monument that one time, or replacing the Hokage's food with spicy bell peppers. Countless scenarios had run through his head helter-skelter, a rabbit seeking escape and finding none. He had suspected many things, even that he was merely being held under genjutsu solely as a scare tactic.

But not this.

Not hung, suspended, feet first, over a vat of chemicals.

"When I get out of this, I'm gonna...I'M GONNA KILL YOU! You here me, you bastard!

Wrong thing to say.

 _"Ahhhhhhhhh,"_ Mizuki smiled cruelly. "I see I'm going to have to teach you some manners, then, brat. Can't say I haven't been looking forward to it." Reaching into his vest, he withdrew a kunai. Naruto froze, blue eyes bulging as the gleaming metal knife approached his face. Terror gripped his heart in an iron vice and squeezed, ever tighter as his tormentor approached. "Now, hold still."

"What're you...

"Lets put a smile on that face, kid." the man sneered.

Naruto tried tried to wriggle out of the way, he really did, but it did him no good-the chunin simply held him in place and went to work. The blade thrust itself into his cheek-carving-tearing relentlessly. He screamed, but the knife only cut deeper. First right, then left, then up, slashing furiously against the nerves. Blood filled his mouth and he spat it back out; right into the face of his captor. Probably not the best thing to do. Mizuki gave a slight start, scowled, and pulled the knife free.

Naruto tried to curse him, but every word was agony.

"Why so serious?" Mizuki cackled.

"Let me go!"

 _"Sure."_

That was all he heard before they cut the cord and dropped him. In that same instant, he managed to get one arm free.

For a terrifying instant he hung there, grasping at the man's outstretched arm.

Straining, his finger's brushed the chunin's palm, and for a moment, just a moment he thought he might find some form of purchase there. Then gravity sank its claws into him and he dropped, plummeting to the vat of chemicals below. He couldn't even see it, spinning as he was, only distantly aware of the chunin's laughter from above. And then, with a resounding splash, he struck the surface of the chemicals. For a sweet, blessed instant, nothing happened.

Then he sank like a stone, legs still bound.

Acid.

Pain...!

BURNING...!

Nothingness...

* * *

 _(Meanwhile...)_

"Well, that's...unfortunate."

Miles above, a pair of shadows bore witness to the boy's plight.

One was easily recognizable, if only for bright red horns jutting out of his head. Clad in distinctive robes of orange and white, he looked all of three seconds from having a small aneurysm. His heart was a crazy cocktail of rage, pain, and sadness, whiskered cheeks pinched in a murderous scowl. He looked all of three seconds from leaping down there and tearing his "creation" to pieces. Yet on another level, he found this almost rather amusing, considering the coincidence that had played out before them.

Who would have thought someone so spiteful as Mizuki would take "Naruto" out of ANBU custody and bring him here, of all places? It wasn't as if he _hated_ him...oh, wait...

Needless to say, Naruto sighed as he watched the thrashing boy sink into the muck.

"Aw, hell." he drawled. "That wasn't supposed to be there. Harley probably would've found this funny."

 _SLAP._

His head snapped backwards as an open palm rang across his face like a bell, denting his cheek.

"Okay," he grunted, rubbing his cheek, "I probably deserved that."

"You had to know this would happen."

He ignored the scathing quip.

"Not now, Rip."

The second figure, the one who'd struck him, was only slightly less distinctive.

Tall, with a pale face, clad in red jeans and scarlet vest, she looked almost normal, compared to him. If not for her fierce features and dark curls, one might even have passed her up for ordinary. But this being was far, far, FAR from ordinary. She was leagues above and beyond it. If one were to look up the definition of "badass" in the dictionary, you'd find a picture of her beside it.

Lean and mean didn't even begin to describe this woman; if she could even be called such. She was a fighter, warrior, survivor, champion. She had cheated death more than anyone else he'd ever known, and when she finally _did_ perish, she only came back stronger than before. By the time he learned about her, found her universe, he had to have her.

Or maybe it was the other way around. Perhaps she had him. He didn't know anymore.

Now, Ellen Ripley stared down into the writhing vat of chemicals and said nothing more. Almost as if she were waiting for his admission of guilt.

Eventually, he capitulated.

"I had a suspicion it might not end well...but I ignored it." The horned deity admitted quietly. He exhaled painfully through his nose, trying-and failing-not to sigh at the jagged verbal quip. "I had a hand in designing this particular universe, remember. I wanted to see what it was like-to make my own world. Watch it play out. See my own creations." roaming eyes slid back to the scene below. "Some elements may be...flawed, compared to the original. Might have made Mizuki-teme a little too vicious, though."

"Aren't you going to do something?" she inquired, staring. "He's going to die if you leave him in there."

"And what exactly would you have me do, hmm?" his head turned, regarding her with distant, white eyes. "I exhausted most of my power creating this universe and everyone within it as a favor to you, remember?" an angry, irate voice grated out at her. "It'll be centuries -decades, if we're lucky!- before I have enough strength to alter anything here, let alone take us to another universe. The seals I gave him wiped out the last bit of my chakra. I won't have any real strength until tomorrow and even then, I won't be any better than a Jonin in terms of raw power."

Her eyes dipped down toward the acid vat.

"If you try, will you die?"

Naruto sighed as she shucked her vest; it was the sound of a patient man indulging an imbecile.

"It would be extremely painful...

"You're a big boy." she quipped.

...for you." he finished, glowering. "I'm not letting you do down there."

"I'm immune." she protested, glaring.

"We haven't tested that."

"Then we'll test it now."

"Ripley." it was a warning.

Her eyes locked on him, piercing.

"Alright, alright...

Naruto sighed, shrugging off his coat.

 _"Take care of my body."_

When next she looked, he was gone.

* * *

 _(A small eternity later...)_

The boy woke to blackness.

That was his first surprise.

He lay in his bed, inside his apartment, feeling as if someone had picked him up and slammed him against the wall a few times. Like he'd been shoved through a cheese grater. He groaned, sitting up in the darkness. In the dim light his hands seemed almost unnaturally bright and he ached, he ached, _oh how he ached,_ his head pounding. He sat up further; it made his body feel even worse, but confusion dulled the pain to a slight edge as he sat there, blinking.

He held his arm up in front of him. It still shook slightly, and he couldn't make it stop.

 _Wait._

Why was he in his bed? The last thing he remembered was falling...

Memories came rushing back in a blinding, white wave of agony.

Pain.

Agony.

Blistering.

"Gotta get a mirror...

Clamoring upright, he jolted out of bed.

That soon proved to be a mistake. His bare feet wailed in protest, _screaming_ the moment they touched the floor, invisible pins and needles stabbing at them. Every footstep, agony. His knees cried out, buckling, unable to support his weight. Groaning he half stumbled, half crawled to the mirror, a broken piece of glass he couldn't afford to replace due to lack of funds. Even that nearly overwhelmed him. The panic almost consumed his mind, the claws of a great beast ripping at him.

His skin, his palms, his _everything,_ all itching and stinging...

The shattered reflection that stared back looked like a ghoul. What he saw there caused the blood to pound in his ears, like the drums of a great hunt out for his blood.

All white skin and whiskers, his hair an ugly, bleached green mess hanging around him in a loose mane. Even his eyes had changed-warped, somehow now by the chemicals-now a sea green instead of the glittering blue sapphires they'd been once before. The corners of his mouth angry and bloody and red from all the gore-still bearing the scars of Mizuki's knife, carved into a ghastly grin. He was looking at a monster. A freak. Complete and utter, a hideous creature.

Unbidden, a dismayed snicker snaked through his clenched teeth.

"Wha...

Naruto's reflection glared back at him for several seconds without letting up, veins throbbing visibly in his forehead. Those twisted eyes were cast in shadow, and gleaming with baleful light. His lips were curled back almost of their own accord, barring the blond's teeth in a an angry leer.

Then his reflection started to _laugh._

"Heh. Hehehehehehe..." It started out soft and soothing, the cackle of a man gone mad. "...ehehahahahahaHAHAHAHA!" Then, abruptly, it jumped three octaves, leaping into an insane shriek that left would have left a normal man's hair standing on end, his skin rippling in gooseflesh as that voice skipped into an insane shriek. The clapping didn't certainly didn't help either, the harsh sound of his palms smacking together with a harsh, continuous pop of sound. It was the strangest sound he had ever witnessed, and yet at the same time, the most amusing, terrifying sound he'd ever heard, because _he_ was the one making it.

That laughter, the laughter of a broken boy, a broken _mind..._

...continued to echo long into the night.

 **A/N: NARUTO...AS THE JOKER?! Or at least, a twisted alternate version of...guess we already know who his "Quinn" is gonna be, eh?!** **?! Oh dear god... LET THE INSANITY FLOW FORTH LIKE BLOOD FROM AN OPEN WOUND! In case you haven't guessed, this fic is going to be a little more...ah...CRAZY during the rest, so I do hope you all enjoy the madness and hilarity that is sure to follow.**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? Hope you enjoyed the story! And of course, enjoy the preview! Hope it makes ya grin at the madness! Seems Naruto's found himself a partner...or has he? WARNING! DARK AND CREEPY AS HELL!**

 **(Preview)**

 _Hinata gulped._

 _"Na...Naruto-kun?"_

 _"Oh, Hinata! Come in, come in!" A merry, sing-song voice answered from the black. "So glad you got my...invitation. I was afraid you wouldn't come." The Hyuuga heiress heard these words-felt them slither through her ears like snakes-and she shivered, ever so slightly. Why had he invited her here, so suddenly? Naruto, who never paid attention to her, Naruto, who hadn't been in class for months now..._

 _"Did you bring what I asked?" his voice continued._

 _She nodded tentatively as she clutched the gallon of bleach in hand. "Yes..._

 _"Wonderful! Make yourself at home!"_

 _Nervously, she stepped into the darkness..._

 _...what she saw there turned her blood to ice._

 _...Naruto?"_

 _"In the flesh! Or, what's left of it."_

 _How could she possibly reconcile this pale specter with her crush? That deranged grin, those twitching, spasmodic movements, the spatter of blood on his face. Sasuke's blood. He'd cut the Uchiha's throat wide open, a great, grinning gash spreading across his jugular, weeping blood. His still-cooling corpse lay sprawled on the floor of the once-blond's apartment. His eyes gouged out, face frozen in a rictus of pained agony, his mouth gaping in a kind of startled alarm._

 _"I believe, that whatever doesn't kill you makes you...stranger." he remarked, absently._

 _"Why did you..._

 _"I just wanted to put a smile on his face," the pale boy mused aloud. "He never smiles. And he kept screaming and it was LOUD that I had to..." he made a short, savage, swiping motion with his arm. "Ya know." Hinata squeaked, dropping the gallon of bleach with a dull thud. Those eerie eyes locked on her, penetrating._

 _"You look nervous. Is it the scars?"_

 _She backed away and he laughed, softly, advancing._

 _"See, Sakura-chan had the same reaction. Her, Mizuki, this whole village, they made a monster and now," he smacked his lips, considering, **"Now,** suddenly, they don't like what they've made. They want to shove me back into this little tiiiiiiny little box." his hands rose, miming the motions of stuffing someone inside, fingers wrapping, squeezing one another. "But I'm not going back in the box. Never again. See, now I see the funny side because now..._

 _...I'm always smiling!"_

 **R &R~! =D**


	2. The Killing Joke

**A/N:** **A/N: HOLY CRAP SO MUCH SUPPORT! I return my subjects! For any wondering, YES I have been doing many things involved with the Joker as of late. Why, you ask? Because in all honesty, I'm not sure how Jared Leto is going to measure up to legends like Heath Ledger, Mark Hamill, and more recently, Troy Baker. I mean, I saw the Suicide Squad trailer and I was, well...kinda mixed on it.**

 **Still, back to the reason I'm writing this dark little masterpiece.**

 **I have seen, many fanfics. Some, in which the Joker even takes in Naruto-wow-and a few of those are quite good. But what I haven't seen, or yet to see rather, is this exact scenario taking place, the one that I concocted in my head. See, I got burned the other day by some chemicals while working on the job.**

 **Yup, ouch ouch and OUCH!**

 **Nothing too bad, mind you but I messed up my right arm and part of my face pretty bad. Burns like hell! They said I was lucky. Riiiiiight. And ironically, as I'd sat there in my bed, recovering...**

 **...this idea just popped out.**

 **when I saw that there were so few Naruto crossovers with it and all the INSANITY that takes places throughout, well, the gears in my mind got to turning.** **As another note, this is, in a distant way of its own, a part sort the "Not Going Home" series as a whole, chronicling the adventures of our dimension hopping blond as he wreaks chaos wherever he goes, including alternate ones that may or may not involve different "versions" of himself, as it were.**

 **However, this takes a bit of a dark turn early on, AS IN RIGHT NOW, because we see something horrible happen and in a way, he's sort of responsible for it. READ CAREFULLY! This chronicles one of the earlier adventure's in Not Going Home, the THIRD to be exact, in which Naruto tries creating his own universe, based on what he's seen thus far.**

 **...needless to say, it doesn't end well.**

 **I won't spoil it, so be sure to read on!**

 **Again, before reading this, I SERIOUSLY suggest you stop and read Not Going Home and all its companions, first.**

 **So, I've been going over reviews, and an anonymous reviewer said something that really resonated with me. I love to write. But sometimes, I feel that this gift owns me, rather than I, owning it. Its like a beast inside me, this urge to create, but I can't control it very well, which results in a LOT of new stories. So as of last night, and continuing throughout the week, I'm purging stories that won't be continued, or works that no one enjoys anymore.**

 **Let me know which ones you feel should be continued, before its too late! Don't worry, many of the major ones will remain, but anything from 2008-2009 is likely going out the window with all the rest of the trash, never to be seen again. This may seem sudden I know, but I'm only purging the forgotten fics that no one cares for. Fear not, its not going to be immediate, but it WILL happen, I simply wanted to get this out as a forewarning.**

 **This will be of very few new stories I plan to release, god willing. If I have an idea, I plan to make it a damn good one before I just toss it out there, as I devote myself to my other works, soon to number into the hundreds, and potentially dozens as I whittle them down. I need to reassess why I want to write, for the joy of it, and I can't do that by letting you guys down with old, crappy stories I wrote way back in my early days.**

 **ALSO!**

 **RESTORED!**

 **I've talked with the ADmins and gotten my works back, but I have to edit them so they can fit within the guidelines once again!**

 **Viper, Dawn of Daybreak, Conqueror of Nations, Red Wing, Hurt, Blade of the Kitsune and Counting Stars, all of which were deleted by FANFICTION for some reason due to having a supposedly explicit rating, they are now BACK, reviews and all!**

 **HUZZAH!**

 **LET THE NEW ERA BEGIN! Also yes, insanity abounds here so...**

 **...off we go! I proudly present NOT A JOKE! WARNING! ITS KINDA DARK! Remember, this fic is dark, and also quite crackish-NOT A PARODY!-so while I ask you to take it seriously, I do hope that you won't take it too seriously and enjoy it to the fullest, dear reader. Hope ya like it! By popular demand and dozens of PM's, here's the next chapter! This story's gonna be a long one, and I fully intend to continue it! I'll say this right now, Hinata IS involved in this fic, SO FOR THOSE WHO DON'T LIKE HER, PLEASE DON'T HATE!**

 _"What's happening?_

 _...you're losing your mind, my dear. WELCOME TO MADNESS!"  
_

 _~Naruto and...?!_

 **The Killing Joke**

 _Madness is the emergency exit._

 _Now, now, just think about it for a second my dear reader; how else would one POSSIBLY escape from such a scene, such terrible trauma, with their sanity intact...oh, wait. You don't!_ _You of all people should know._ _After all, there's nothing so cruel as memory, is there?. The pointy, bitey little thunderbolts, burning into your brain._ _Unwanted party crashers, screamers through your synapses. Inescapable, unrelenting!_ _Not at all friendly! You can't run from them, can't hide from them, all you can do is IGNORE them._

 _So, you **take** that emergency exit._

 _When you look at yourself in that broken mirror and everything falls to tiny little pieces, you can always just step outside, shut that old door and forget all about it. That's precisely what I did. Whoosh! SLAM! Closed and locked the door on my sanity and threw away the key. I had no choice, you see! I had to do it, had to do SOMETHING before I lost myself completely._ _Even then that didn't save me, not really. Those chemicals did more than bleach my skin and change the color of my hair..._

 _...they broke me. Altered the very state of my mind._

 _No one would speak to me after the accident, no one would LOOK at me, be it in the hospital, at class, or even in my own home. Suddenly, **I** was the freak - even more of a MONSTER than before! They still blamed me for the Faces despite my silence. Ahhh, but by then, it didn't matter. I wasn't answering their questions. So they beat me some more, trashed my home, and finally, **finally** let me go._

 _And out I came, even more unbalanced, violent, unsound of mind...all because of one bad day. One bad prank. Its all a sick joke, really. Hmm. A joke, you say...a joke...joke...JOKER..._

 _That's it!_

 _HA!_

 _Now that I think about, it they talk about **balance** as though its some sacred and holy thing; something to be preserved at all costs. Sanity. Equality. Morality. All these things start, and end with that, don't they? Have this one word in common, this one ideal, standard, symbol._

 _Balance._

 _Balance - no, balance is what's wrong with this village. BALANCE is what made me what I am. We need to upset the balance, kick it over, light it on fire and see what comes scurrying out. They think its all some terrible joke, a great big prank. That Ah, but what you don't know can kill you! After all..._

 _...that's where the fun always starts._

* * *

Two weeks, three hours and fifteen minutes.

It seemed like a lifetime ago now, yet still, Naruto felt as if it were yesterday. It was as plain as day. His appearance. The madness. Every waking moment a test of will. He'd never truly be free from the voices now, he knew, but somehow, they didn't seem as bad anymore. He stopped going to class, stopped going out, stopped doing much of anything, really. If he'd been an outcast before, now he was practically a recluse, an exile in all but name, shunned by those he'd once wanted to protect.

But did he let that get him down? Oh, no!

His thirteenth birthday came and went, un-celebrated, unmarked. Unnoticed.

Instead, he spent his time thinking.

Pondering.

Plotting.

In the fourteen days hence he'd only left his hovel of an apartment thrice; once to procure -by which he meant steal- food, another to find himself a new change of clothes, and the third...well, he was holding that very reason in his hands. Ramen seemed to be the only constant in his life beyond his change now. Having divested himself of those ugly orange jumpsuits, he'd secured for himself a purple hoodie, the better with which to hide his face from prying eyes and a merry-colored pair of green pants. He found the colors oddly fitting somehow, part of him did, though he couldn't quite understand why.

He'd also gone back to the chemical plant.

* * *

 _(Flashback)_

 _Clank._

 _Naruto wasn't quite sure what had guided him back to that god awful place, or how he even found it again to begin with, only that he did. His footsteps clanked dully against the broken metal floor. What had brought his body back here? It wasn't the fear-not the pain-or even the curiosity that'd brought him back here. So what then? What'd compelled him to come back to the place where everything changed? What was he even looking for in this place of chemicals and madness?_

 _What?_

 _Curiously enough he found Mizuki's body where he'd seen him last, sprawled out near the main vat. It looked like someone-or something-had torn the bastard's chest out and left him to die, the deck rotted and pitted around him, as if by the acid itself. Good. Dead was dead. Even in his trance, the sight gave him pause, if only for the sweet satisfaction of seeing his tormentor dead. And there, lying next to the ruined corpse, was a note of all things._

 _Intrigued, he picked it up, pale fingers grasping the white parchment. It read:_

 _"Sorry, kid._

 _I know you're probably pissed to all hell with me right now, but I swear, I didn't intend for this to happen. If I could reverse it, I would. But I can't. The most I could do was save your life and kill the one responsible for doing this to you. Feel free to hate me if you want. Despise me. Curse me. I won't blame ya if you do. I made this world, and I'm just as responsible for failing it as I am you._

 _Naruto felt his fingers clench violently around the paper._

 _You know...maybe...maybe this place does deserve to burn after what they've done to you. So I've left you a little recipe from an old friend. Think of it as a...parting gift. Be sure to test it before you use it. That's just about all I can do for you. We won't meet again. I think I've done enough damage already-now it's your turn. Put a few smiles on their faces! Let the world burn. I want to forget I ever made it._

 _Hope this makes up for it."_

 _~the Stranger._

 _Below was a series of instructions, chemicals, compounds needed for..._

 _"Laughing gas?"_

 _Blinking, he pondered it a moment longer before pocketing the recipe._

 _"Not a joke," he muttered, glancing about, unable to keep the smile from his face. "But its still funny..." Covering his eyes, he barley suppressed a snicker, teeth clenching around the noise. "Heh. Hehe. Hehehe." Hate and glee warred within him in a violent cacophony of pain and delight, strangling one another, neither triumphing. "HehehehehehehaHAHAHAHAHAHA!" And still the laughter continued, building into a demented bellow that left his throat hoarse and his mouth dry._

 _...ha," he finished with a sigh, wiping a mirthful tear from his eye, "Ohhhhh, I needed that."_

 _Pausing just long enough to hurl Mizuki's mangled corpse into the vat of acid, he continued on his way._

 _"Meow."_

 _That was when he heard it. Saw it._

 _Tora, that damn cat who always dug its way into his trash. Always scratched him whenever he tried to shoo it away. What the devil was it doing here? Had it been eating Mizuki's corpse? This thought would have made him violently ill only weeks before, now drew a slight, sick smile to his mouth._

 _"Well, hello there."_

 _The cat hissed as he approached it._

 _Well, he DID need a test subject, after all._

 _"Here kitty kitty kitty...GOTCHA!"_

 _Tora's pained yowl, and his warped laughter reverberated loudly off the walls._

 _(End flashback)_

* * *

In his hand he held that same recipe.

And honestly, he was considering using it.

Maybe they did deserve to burn, to die with smiles on their faces for what they'd done. As if to punctuate that thought, he heard an angry yowl from the cage in the corner of his room. That annoying cat would make a good test subject, he supposed, once he found the ingredients needed, synthesized them...but how the hell was he going to do that? He was no chemist? He'd have to find someone who knew about herbs, poisons and the like.

"All part of the plan...

The chemicals -or maybe it the fox's chakra?- had done something to his mind. Or perhaps it was the madness. Who knew? He found he could think more clearly than he had in years, his mind unfettered by the lens of sanity. Sure, his thoughts weren't the most sane or balanced, but for the first time in forever, he found himself able to ponder things, he never had before. Matters like what had he ever _seen_ in that filthy pink whore of a Haruno, for instance.

Not.

Funny.

"Sure, Sakura be a whore," he muttered blacky, grabbing a knife from the table, white fingers clenching murderously around the steel. "Be a stupid whore, even. But not a stupid, NAGGING whore!" That foul, shrieking wretch of harpy who didn't know her ass from her elbow, always hitting him, demeaning...ABUSING-

 _Knock._

 _Knock._

 _Knock._

The boy paused, blinking.

"Naruto?" a muffled voice resounded behind the door. "Naruto! You in there?"

Ah, speak of the devil.

"The hell do you want, pinky?" the harshness of his own reply momentarily startled even him.

"Sensei wanted me to give you this week's homework."

"Ah, Iruka, right."

"Come in, come in."

Careful to hide his face, he stepped away.

"Are you...feeling alright?" she asked. "You look pale."

Ah, so _now_ she cared about his well-being, eh?

Still _...pale!_ He fought back a laugh.

How little she knew.

"Never better! I've got a new lease on life! Granted, it came with some extra mileage, but beggars can't be choosers." he hummed softly, turning away, towards the counter. Surreptitiously his fingers closed around the knife there, secreting it in his sleeve. "So, is there anything else?" a simple inquiry as he turned back to her; that was all it took to distract the green-eyed lass. For a moment, he thought she would say something, that she would prove him wrong-prove she wasn't as shallow as a puddle-but no, as ever, he was disappointed.

...right. Look, I need to go...

His hand shot out, caging her wrist.

"Don't leave." he said. "Wanna hear a joke?"

Sakura paused.

 _Leave._ A little voice in her head wailed! _You need to leave right here, right now!_

Alas, as ever, she didn't listen to that voice.

"A joke? You don't tell jokes."

"I do now." he grinned.

 _LEAVE!_

Sakura dithered a moment longer, wondering.

"Alright, shoot."

"A man walks into a bar on...oh, lets say a Tuesday," Naruto began slowly, the visible portion of his face smiling benignly, "He gets pushed. Falls down. He says ow. Guy helps him up. The man asks, why did you push me?" He paused, holding onto the punchline for an agonizing blink, strangling her attention. "Do you know what he says?"

"No, what?"

Madness is like gravity. It just needs a little _push."_

"I don't get it-

Naruto seemed to watch her for a very long time, his expression inscrutable from the darkness of his hood. Then, finally, he sighed, turning away.

"Everybody's a critic."

"Right then, I'm going to go-

"NOPE!

 _Thunk._

A hand slammed between her and the door, an arm barring her path. For the first time since she'd entered the apartment, the pinkette felt a flicker of fear. That fear only intensified when the boy reached up and pulled down the purple hood concealing his face. White skin and spiky green hair greeted her, his mouth carved into an ghastly rictus of a grin. Sakura couldn't help herself. The books dropped from her hands with a hard thud of sound. Her self-control shattered like glass as she inhaled sharply, exhaling in the same instant.

She screamed.

 _"What the hell happened to you?!"_

"I got pushed." he replied simply, reaching into his sleeve. Out came the knife. _Up_ went her heartbeat, hammering relentlessly against her ears like thunder. Naruto just laughed at her. "Don't you get it! Its all a joke! Everyting anybody ever valued or strugged for...its all a monstrous, demented gag." He stepped forward and she shrank back, wilting in on herself. Her hand fumbled furiously at the door, and still he came! "So, why cant you see the funny side, Sakura? Why aren't you laughing?!"

"I'm serious! I want out!" she cried. "Let me out!"

 _"Then go out with a smile."_

The next thing she saw was the glint of the knife, thrusting itself toward her! She tried to dodge, to evade, but she was too slow, her body clumsy with fear. Her feet tripped over the books, the very ones she'd dropped and she went down in a tangle of arms and legs, shrieking.

Then he was on her.

"Now now, this'll just take a second...!"

The last she felt was the edge, stabbing into her stomach. Stabbing, stabbing, STABBING over and over and over again...

...unti there was only blackness.

* * *

 _(One month later...)_

* * *

Hinata gulped, fidgeting restlessly as she stood before the door to Naruto's apartment.

The waning moon provided only the faintest of illumination, offering no hint of what was inside that darkened room. She shouldn't be here at this hour, yet here she was anyway. Yet still, she summoned up her courage and dared to call out into the night:

"Na...Naruto-kun?"

"Oh, Hinata! Come in, come in!" A merry, sing-song voice answered from the black, muffled by the door. "So glad you got my...invitation. I was afraid you wouldn't come." The Hyuuga heiress heard these words-felt them slither through her ears like snakes-and she shivered, ever so slightly. Why had he invited her here, so suddenly? Naruto, who never paid attention to her, Naruto, who hadn't been in class for months now...Naruto, who had suddenly left a letter at her door, all but BEGGING her to come see him.

"Did you bring what I asked?" his voice continued serenely.

She nodded tentatively as she clutched the gallon of bleach in hand. "Yes...

The door swung open with a harsh crack of sound.

"Wonderful! Make yourself at home!"

Nervously, she stepped into the darkness...

"Are the lights broken?"

"Oh, sorry! Here, I'll get them right now."

A harsh pop sounded, flooding the room with light...

...what she saw there turned her blood to ice.

...Naruto?"

"In the flesh! Or, what's left of it."

How could she possibly reconcile this pale specter with her crush? That deranged grin, those twitching, spasmodic movements, the spatter of blood on his face. Sasuke's blood. He'd cut the Uchiha's throat wide open, a great, grinning gash spreading across his jugular, weeping blood. His still-cooling corpse lay sprawled on the floor of the once-blond's apartment. His eyes gouged out, face frozen in a rictus of pained agony, his mouth gaping in a kind of startled alarm.

"I believe, that whatever doesn't kill you makes you...stranger." he remarked, absently. "Now, I need you to help me with this. Gotta get him to the ol' chemical plant and dispose of the evidence. But first the bleach, ya know, can't leave a mess, cuz' that'd ruin the floor..."

Hinata didn't hear a word of it. She could only see the body.

"Why did you...

"I just wanted to put a smile on his face," the pale boy mused aloud. "He never smiles, ya know. All, my clan this, and kill my brother that, blah, blah, blah! He's a schemer, you know. And the thing about schemers, ah, is that they always have to have a plan. The old man has plans. The village has plans, He, had plans." A bloodied hand waved errantly in Sasuke's direction, spattering her cheek a rosy red. "So I just took his little plan, and turned it on itself~! Taking the eyes was just gravy."

"B-B-But his throat...

"Well, he kept screaming and it was so LOUD! He was going to wake the neighbors, and well, I couldn't have that. Soooo, I had to..." he made a short, savage, swiping motion with his arm. "Ya know." Hinata squeaked, dropping the gallon of bleach with a dull thud. Those eerie eyes locked on her anew, penetrating. She couldn't look away...!

"You look nervous. Is it the scars? Wanna know how I got them?"

She backed away and he laughed, softly, advancing.

"See, Sakura-chan had the same reaction. Her, Mizuki, this whole village, they made a monster and now," he smacked his lips, considering, **"Now,** suddenly, they don't like what they've made. They want to shove me back into this little _tiiiiiiny_ little box." his hands rose, miming the motions of stuffing someone inside, fingers wrapping, squeezing one another. "But I'm not going back in the box. Never again. See, now I see the funny side because now...

 _...I'm always smiling!"_

In that instant, she was almost certain that death had come for her. She felt the reaper's gaze on her back and whimpered, rooted where she stood. She was going to die, here, alone, forgotten, killed by her crush, and there was nothing that could be done about. She could feel her mind _breaking_ with the fear and cursed herself for her weakness as he drew closer still, her cowardice, her...her...

And then, incredibly, Naruto grinned even further.

"Hmm. You know, yer kinda cute when yer flustered."

Hinata dared to open an eye, and immediately stiffened, as his gloved hand settled on her shoulder. She froze. Her entire body locked up at the sudden physical contact. His forehead was suddenly resting against hers, those eerie, sea-green eyes boring into her lavender orbs. His breath was warm on her face, his expression utterly inscrutable behind the scars. Every part of her was violently, intensely aware of his close proximity to her, even as her mind gibbered at her to do something, anything...

...and so her body, maddened by terror, did just that.

Now, she wasn't quite sure what spurred her to do what she did next; perhaps it was some desperate last gasp, an act of instinctual defiance on her part. Maybe she just wanted to know what it felt like before she died, skewered by the one whom she admired more than anyone else in the world. Who knew? But it-whatever it was-it caused her to snap forward in an abrupt burst of speed, throw her arms around his neck, and press her lips to his.

Her mouth met his swiftly and abruptly, clumsily, even, causing the Joker to stumble backward, staggering him in surprise. Hinata had never kissed anyone before, and at first, she didn't even realized she'd done it. But it felt...she didn't know how it felt. Wait, ye she did. Wonderful. Kissing someone who was likely about to stab you to death tended to dampen the mood, kill it even but there it was. Nevertheless, this chaste, desperate kiss had the intended effect.

He paused.

Naruto blinked, bafflement overtaking his features as he pulled away. For the first time since she'd seen him after all these weeks, his face lost its pleasant smile.

"Sooooo, let me ask you a question." he continued, frowning.

Everything was spinning around Hinata. She was barely aware that she was even alive. This was it. She could die happy now...!"

"H-Hai...?"

She wasn't prepared for what happened next.

With a small, devious smile, he leaned back in and kissed her.

"Why so serious?" he purred.

The poor Hyuuga couldn't help herself at that. All the tension, all the stress, it all piqued and...

...she fainted dead away.

 **A/N: NARUTO...AS THE JOKER?! Or at least, a twisted alternate version of...care to guess who his "Quinn" is gonna be, eh?! Now, various forms of other "Batman" villiians may, of course, pop up in this story, as I'm sure you've guessed. For example, Haku suits Freeze just fine, don't you think? If you think Naruto's the only one whose going to go off his rocker by the end of this story, then ye be wrong there! Dead wrong!**

 **Other examples of villains here would be Quinn, Killer Croc, Riddler, Scarecrow, Bane, Poison Ivy, the lovely Copperhead(Now Ain't that An Obvious One!) Two Face, so on and so forth...Be sure to vote on such things because as of next chapter, everything gets blown out of the water!**

 **And I don't think I need to say who our "Dark Knight" of Konoha is in this story. Here's a hint. His name starts and ENDS with an "I".**

 **Oh dear god... LET THE INSANITY FLOW FORTH LIKE BLOOD FROM AN OPEN WOUND! In case you haven't guessed, this fic is going to be a little more...ah...CRAZY during the rest, so I do hope you all enjoy the madness and hilarity that is sure to follow.**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? Hope you enjoyed the story! And of course, enjoy the preview! Hope it makes ya grin at the madness! Seems Naruto's found himself a partner...or has he? WARNING! DARK AND CREEPY AS HELL! And Ya'll will just have to guess who his "Quinn" is, because I ain't giving it away just yet!**

 **(Preview)**

 _Naruto sighed, nudging the mangled corpses at his feet._

 _The Hokage and his advisors been oh-so-serious in the beginning, but by the end they laughed, just like the others. It was funny, really. He'd expected to feel something-anything-when he stared down at the old man's body, his face frozen in a deep, deranged grin. Pity. Remorse, even. Perhaps even a touch of glee. He hadn't thought the gas would kill them slowly but it had and they'd died, choking on their own laughter. Fascinating fascinating, yet still he wondered._

 _Why don't I feel anything?_

 _Only apathy._

 _Sighing, he pushed a hand through his messy green hair and smacked his lips, new eyes twitching. Well, he was done here. There could be no more bad joke of a village for him now, not after what he'd done. Ah, well, not like it mattered, anyway. This village had long since exhausted its usefulness for him, anyway. He could already hear the riots below, the panic in the streets. People demanding that their oh-so-precious hokage do something, anything-and they didn't even know that their precious leader was dead as a doorknob!_

 _It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic...oh what the hell! He'd laugh anyway!_

 _"Bahahahaha! Who am I kidding?!"_ _Cackling, he reached down turning the old man's frozen face up to meet his. "What was that about the last laugh, old man?!"_

 _Silence answered him._

 _"Oh. Right. He's dead." Straightening, he dabbed a bit of blood from his cheek._ _"Sweetheart, be a dear and clean up this mess, will you?"_

 _A sweet, cheery voice answered him._

 _"Whatever you say, puddin'!"_

 _"Right, right, good girl. Be sure to cover your ears." Naruto barely even heard her reply to that one, he was already spreading his senses outward, direction his attention to the countless tags strewn across the village. It hadn't been easy; it had taken days, weeks, months even, but he had what he needed. Ironically, the Hokage Tower was the one placed he'd neglected to mark, if only for fear of being caught. But the gas had done the work he needed it to do and now..._

 _"Time for the show," he hummed, reaching inside his purple vest._

 _It wasn't anything personal-alright, maybe it was-it was about sending a message. He grabbed them tight in his mind's eyes, gave a hard tug on the catalyst in his hand, and felt them begin to burn._

 _You don't fuck with a clown._

 _"And here..._

 _...we..._

 _...go..._

 _BOOM._

 **R &R~! =D**


	3. Introduce a Little Anarchy

**A/N: ALERT! We've had another movie theater shooting, this time in Nashville Tennessee! WHEN WILL THIS MADNESS STOP! Guys and girls, lets keep everyone in our hopes and prayers and pray that no one was hurt this time!**

 **Now...back to the main bit.**

 **HOLY CRAP SO MUCH SUPPORT! I return my subjects! For any wondering, YES I have been doing many things involved with the Joker as of late. Why, you ask? Because in all honesty, I'm not sure how Jared Leto is going to measure up to legends like Heath Ledger, Mark Hamill, and more recently, Troy Baker. I mean, I saw the Suicide Squad trailer and I was, well...kinda mixed on it.**

 **Still, back to the reason I'm writing this dark little masterpiece.**

 **I have seen, many fanfics. Some, in which the Joker even takes in Naruto-wow-and a few of those are quite good. But what I haven't seen, or yet to see rather, is this exact scenario taking place, the one that I concocted in my head. See, I got burned the other day by some chemicals while working on the job.**

 **Yup, ouch ouch and OUCH!**

 **Nothing too bad, mind you but I messed up my right arm and part of my face pretty bad. Burns like hell! They said I was lucky. Riiiiiight. And ironically, as I'd sat there in my bed, recovering...**

 **...this idea just popped out.**

 **when I saw that there were so few Naruto crossovers with it and all the INSANITY that takes places throughout, well, the gears in my mind got to turning.** **As another note, this is, in a distant way of its own, a part sort the "Not Going Home" series as a whole, chronicling the adventures of our dimension hopping blond as he wreaks chaos wherever he goes, including alternate ones that may or may not involve different "versions" of himself, as it were.**

 **However, this takes a bit of a dark turn early on, AS IN RIGHT NOW, because we see something horrible happen and in a way, he's sort of responsible for it. READ CAREFULLY! This chronicles one of the earlier adventure's in Not Going Home, the THIRD to be exact, in which Naruto tries creating his own universe, based on what he's seen thus far.**

 **...needless to say, it doesn't end well.**

 **I won't spoil it, so be sure to read on!**

 **Again, before reading this, I SERIOUSLY suggest you stop and read Not Going Home and all its companions, first.**

 **ALSO!**

 **RESTORED!**

 **I've talked with the ADmins and gotten my works back, but I have to edit them so they can fit within the guidelines once again!**

 **Viper, Dawn of Daybreak, Conqueror of Nations, Red Wing, Hurt, Blade of the Kitsune and Counting Stars, all of which were deleted by FANFICTION for some reason due to having a supposedly explicit rating, they are now BACK, reviews and all!**

 **HUZZAH!**

 **LET THE NEW ERA BEGIN! Also yes, insanity abounds here so...**

 **...off we go! I proudly present NOT A JOKE! WARNING! ITS KINDA DARK! Remember, this fic is dark, and also quite crackish-NOT A PARODY!-so while I ask you to take it seriously, I do hope that you won't take it too seriously and enjoy it to the fullest, dear reader. Hope ya like it! By popular demand and dozens of PM's, here's the next chapter! This story's gonna be a long one, and I fully intend to continue it! I'll say this right now, Hinata IS involved in this fic, SO FOR THOSE WHO DON'T LIKE HER, PLEASE DON'T HATE!**

 **ALSO! I HAVE _HEARD_ YOUR VILLAIN SUGGESTIONS! YER GONNA LUV 'EM!**

 **I AM updating my other works, but I'm on a roll with this one, and my muse won't let me be! So for now...**

 **...WHY SO SERIOUS? NARUTO GOES FULL MENTAL IN THIS AND I PAY HOMAGE TO A LOOOOT OF JOKER'S!**

 _"Wow. After that grand speech, I was expecting more of a well, fight. It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic...oh what the heck, I'll laugh anyway! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

 _~Naruto/Joker?!_

 **Introduce a Little Anarchy**

 _Memories can be vile._

 _Repulsive little brute like children I suppose, always whining and crying and SHRIEKING! Digging their fingers into your hair! Tearing out your roots! Inescapable!_

 _But can we live without them?_

 _Memories are what reason is based upon. If we can't face them we deny reason itself. Although why not? We aren't contractually tied down to rationality. There is no sanity clause. So when you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought , headed for the places in your past where the screaming is unbearable...there's always madness._

 _Yet what is madness when you're alone?_

 _Have you ever had the feeling that your entire life has been building towards this one moment?_ _Yes, yes, yes, I know what you're thinking-Naruto, don't you hate, fate? And I do-I do! But I also admire it, its...simplicity. Like chance really. Now I realize that all the battles, the bad days, the brutalities, it was all the hand of fate at work. Now I understand. There are no chance encounters. It was all meant to be. Everything leading up to who I've killed tonight!_

 _Sakura, that was fate. She was destined to die the moment she crossed paths with me. Sasuke, that was fate too. They both treated me like shit, and now that's precisely what they are; little more than bleached bones at the bottom of the chemical plant. But this...this is different._

 _I've met someone special, and its changed things. No no no, SHE changed things. There's no going back. See, to them, she's just a freak. Like me._

 _Do you realize what a vile world we live in? How terribly **lonely** it is to wade through all the wretch and filth on your own? Of course, of course, she understands! Even in a crowd of imbeciles and other screwballs she's so alone that she can kick, claw, yell, scream at the top of your lungs, and no one cares. Its like you she doesn't even exist to them; same as me! She knows what that's like - how could I not see it before?! She claims that she knows me sees me, the **real** me beneath all this. Maybe she does. Maybe she doesn't._

 _I think I'll keep her._

 _After all, even the maddest of men need a partner in crime. A "Quinn" if you will. It might be funny to see how she react to all this once she wakes up. Like a bad joke. Now..._

 _...lets..._

 _...introduce..._

 _...a little anarchy._

* * *

"Wakey, wakey...

Sight and sound came back slowly to Hinata, almost as if it were afraid to do so.

Like a fitful child, refusing to obey, her own body fought her, trying not to wake. Everything felt numb and distant, her mind and memories muddled by the fog of sleep. Speaking of sleep, she'd had the strangest, most pleasant of dreams...! It was almost enough to make her roll back over and try to sleep again but her bed felt so hard and lumpy. Odd. She was sure it had been softer than this, not so cold...and hard...and flat. A light frown plucked at the corners of her mouth, her eyes fluttering open.

"Wha...?"

Her first sight was of that Glasgow grin leering down at her, that face, crouched mere centimeters from her own. The first thing she _felt_ , those lips against hers, smothering her mouth. For a small, blissful moment, she thought she was still sleeping. Ah. A dream. That was it. She must still be dreaming. Then his tongue touched her lips questing for entry, and her mouth opened with a moan. A pale palm took up residence beneath her jaw, and another behind her head, easing her into the kiss as she responded to it.

A pleasantly warm shiver shot down her spine. "Mmm..."

"Well, hello beautiful." Joker purred. "Seems someone's happy to see me."

 _That_ jolted her back to reality with a vengeance.

Remarkably, she didn't faint.

She was far too terrified.

Not a dream.

NOT!

AT!

ALL!

DREAM!

Hinata yelped, shooting upright with such force that she physically headbutted her crush. Naruto grunted in surprise, but again, no harm came to her. Chuckling the prankster staggered away, idly rubbing at the welt he had unintentionally received thanks to her. She saw him stumble towarda a large _vat_ of some sort, still snickering. Laughter trickled through the abandoned refinery.

"Pretty thick skull ya got there."

It was then that Hinata realized something else.

...why did her skin hurt? He'd wrapped her up in her jacket and she removed that now, but it only made her feel worse. Her! Skin. Buzzing, stinging, itching...

As though sensing her distress, the Joker's head popped over her shoulder.

"Oh, right, right! I almost forgot. I got you a present. Well, I'd say made, but you get the picture. Here ya go..." Without pause or preamble, he thrust a small, handheld mirror at her. Fumbling, she grabbed at it, nearly dropping the precious gift he'd given her. "Go on, take a look!" he sounded positively giddy, like a child eager to open their presents at Christmas. So she indulged him, took a look...

...and inhaled sharply.

 _Because her skin was white as snow._

No scars-thank kami!-but still, the sight of it sent her into shock all over again. Her mind, that fragile psyche already fractured by what she'd just witnessed, suffered another break. She'd never look the same again. Part of her gibbered madly at the sight, and yet another smaller -but growing increasingly larger- part of her realized that, in some twisted way, this really was a gift. A small, tiny little breath hitched in her throat as she touched a hand to her cheek, still sensitive, still buzzing at the touch.

"What did you do to me?" it was a whisper.

Naruto/Joker laughed.

"A test." he replied simply, pausing in his pacing. "If you truly understand me, then you won't scream. I want you to understand me, Hinata. NEED you to understand." still he continued, rambling. "This was just a dip of course, couldn't risk tossing you in there and not being able to pull you out, ya know? On a more positive note, I'm pleased to see you kept your lovely hair. Red and black are more your thing, after all. Lets face it dear, green just doesn't suit you the way it does me. _Suit._ Ha!" a snicker as he looked down at his tux, his new purple and green vestments, "Oh, I kill myself...

Hinata gulped.

"Naruto-kun...

"No no no," the pale ninja shook his head, "Naruto is dead. You can call me Joker. And as you can see, I'm a _lot_ happier! Shame about the other guy, though." Before she could ask what _that meant_ he spun on one heel, wheeling towards a dark, moaning shape at the edge of the room. Barely visible from where she lay, Hinata could only just make out the distinct features of what might have been a chunin uniform. "Someone saw fit to follow us here, as you can see. How rude. Now then..."

Strutting towards them, he took hold of their unfortunate witness/captive, and, with surprising strength, hauled him towards the very vat of acid she'd just left. "This is a private party you know, and we _can't_ be having partycrashers now can we?! _"_

Growling, he yanked the bag off his head. Hinata recognized him at once.

 _Iruka._

Their beloved teacher had changed much since she'd seen him last, battered and bruised, lip split and right eye swollen shut, he looked as though he'd gone through a meat grinder or worse. There were even a few gray hairs to be seen there in his disheveled hair. Yet her mind was oddly quiet. This was her-their-teacher, the man who had taught them all that they knew in the academy. By rights, she should be helping him, trying to at least _free_ him, do something, anything...

And yet somehow, she couldn't bring herself to feel appalled. Only...

...excitement?

Another tiny break etched itself into the Hyuuga's mind, further unbalancing her. She felt like laughing at the insanity of it all, the dismay. Instead she stood and watched-petrified-as her beloved hoisted Iruka-sensei up off the floor, planting his prone form against the vat. Hands and legs bound, shoulders dislocated, their teacher could only lay there, groaning softly...

"Up and at 'em, tech." a palm rang out harshly, cracking across the older man's face.

Iruka seemed to realize what was happening, then; because he jolted awake with a start.

"What...where am I...?"

"You my good man," Joker chortled, strutting away into the darkness, "Are in a great deal of trouble."

Iruka didn't seem to notice him, not at first. He did, however, notice Hinata.

"Hinata...your skin...what happened to you?"

Instinctively, she shrank away.

"Sensei...I...

"None of that, now!" Just like that Naruto reappeared behind her, grinning, a radio in hand. "She's always been beautiful." an arm slung itself around her waist and pulled her close, drawing her into a bruising, breathless kiss. "Now, even more so. You, however...you're not going to be so handsome once we've finished with you." With a giddy giggle he set the handheld device down at the man's feet, and lowered his leg, stomping it into oblivion.

"No!" Iruka cried!

"Oooooooh," pausing, he glanced down at the mangled piece of electronic. "I'm sorry was that important? It looked important, whatever it was. Now then," he raised his gaze, exposing gleaming, pearly white teeth in a vicious leer, "What say you and I have a heart to heart, hmm, Iruka? For old times sake."

The special jounin went pale at the sight of that expression.

"O-Of course we can talk about this, Naruto-

It was the wrong thing to say.

 _ **"NO!"** _ the teen barked, striking him in the face! "Not Naruto! He's dead! Dead and GONE and buried! You killed him! You are _**TALKING**_ to the Joker!" Laughing, he planted his face in his hand, shaking his head. "Ah, sorry, sorry, I get ahead of myself sometimes you know? That's the thing about madness. No control. Now, where we? There, I remember. Yes. Who are you working with? Did the old man send you to watch me?" A beat of silence passed between them, teacher and student both, neither speaking. Finally, the elder gulped.

"I was acting alone." he said.

"You were?" The Joker blinked, a flicker of genuine surprise shining through the mask. "Good, then that makes this easier...all I have to do is get rid of you, and, whoosh! Problem solved."

"So...you're going to kill me, then?"

"Ohhhhhh don't you worry." the greenette soothed, petting their captive on the nose, "I'm not gonna kill ya. I'm just gonna hurt ya. Really, Really...bad."

"Naruto, you can't do this! You're crazy!"

"No...no, I'm not." he replied, ripping a rusted piece of pipe from the wall with a violent tug of an arm. "See you all think I'm a monster, but you've got it backwards. I'm not some freak of yours, I'm just...ahead of the curve. Still, I'm very, very, VERY disappointed in you, Iruka!" Hefting his weapon, he glanced across the battered teacher's body, apparently trying to make up his mind on where to strike first. "Shame on you, trying to rat me out before I've had my fun. Papa SPANK!"

The pipe descended mercilessly, slamming down on the man's ribs with a sharp crack. Hinata winced. Iruka gasped. Naruto laughed and swung again. Once. Twice. Three times. With each successive strike, Hinata felt herself grow more and more distant from it all, her sanity locking itself behind a door and throwing away the key. All that was left, all that remained...was madness. In that instant, as she watched the horror unfolding before her eyes, she suffered one break too many.

In short, Hinata Hyuuga snapped.

"Heh." A small disbelieving laugh pushed itself past her lips. "Hehehehe." Then another. And another. "eheheheehhahahahahahaHAHA ** _HAHAHA!_** " And another still growing louder and louder, vaulting octaves entirely as the Joker whaled on the man who had once taught them everything. She laughed, long and hard, as that meek, shy creature she'd been before locked herself away and hid, cowering. Something else took her place. An odd, different, new person, not entirely sane, not entirely right...

...not entirely her, yet herself all the same

"See, she appreciates it!" Naruto cried, cackling over her laughter! "SHE understands the joke! C'mon now old boy! Have a laugh on me!" He swung down again, this time catching him in the leg.

Iruka only gurgled as his knee shattered.

"Wow, that looked like it really hurt." Joker mused, pausing in his assault, observing his handiwork. _WHACK!_ "Wait wait wait, THAT looked like it hurt a whole lot more. Now, just so we're clear. Who am I?" The pipe fell, and found his face, tilting Iruka's chin up to look at him, forcing that lone eye to meet his own. "You heard of this Naruto guy? You ever heard of the Joker?"

Blood spat itself at his feet.

"Naruto...you...mustn't do this...this isn't...you...

An eye twitched.

 _Why...why...why...did they keep using that hated identity?!_

"Can't...you...just... _play_. **.** **.ALONG?!"** One, two, three, four, five. Each word accompanied a savage swing of that pipe; the rusted iron beating furiously against the man's body with renewed and intensified force. "All of you, every one of you, WHY DO YOU INSIST ON CALLING ME BY THAT NAME?!" Finally, after what seemed like an evil eternity, the Joker's assault ceased. Exhaling heavily, he discarded the dented weapon, leaving his victim sprawled on the floor, choking on his own blood.

Hinata could only watch intently.

"Ah, you bastard." her beloved drawled, scowling. "Look what you made me do."

"Naruto...you...mustn't do this...this isn't...you!"

Naruto paused.

"You're a good person sensei, really you are, but I can't be having any witnesses." Pacing, his considered this conundrum, facing twisting, warping angrily in thought. "Still, I _dooon't_ want to kill you, yet I shouldn't leave you like this. Hmm...decisions...decisions...ah! I know." Glancing about he pulled what looked like a small vial from his vest, grinning. "This'll do nicely, yes, oh so nicely. Hinata, catch!"

"Gotcha!"

This time, when he gave her the vial, she caught it with sure, deft fingers. Was this how it felt to lose one's mind? Everything felt so...crisp. Clear. No stutter, no crippling shyness. Just...clarity. She knew exactly how he felt about her and how she felt about Naruto, and it was a sweet, blissful thing. Deep down, she knew this was wrong, that tiny voice told her so, but she snarled at it and her sanity retreated, cowering into a corner like the coward it was. Who needed sanity when you had love?

"Be a dear and take that up to the vat." he instructed.

She did as he asked.

The vat itself was brimming with the toxic, noxious chemicals. Ordinarily, one wouldn't have been able to simply reach in and scoop them out. But someone had filled the leaden container to the brim since Nartuo's last visit and as such, it was child's play to simply reach down and fill the container with just a pinch of the liquid. Scrambling back down, she delivered it to Naruto, and was rewarded with a sweet kiss for her efforts. Iruka tracked them with his lone eye, trying-and failing-to understand what was happening.

"You...you wouldn't."

"You're right." Naruto answered, swirling the chemicals in his hand. "I don't want another me running around. "So you get...what was it, half? Half. Yeah, half sounds good. Now, this is gonna hurt me a lot more than its going to hurt you." a pause. "Or maybe not. Remember, it was fate that brought you here. Not chance, no, chance is fair. So, assuming this doesn't kill I'd say you should use your _chance_ to, ah...

He crouched down, smiling.

...introduce a little anarchy of your own."

With a sharp jerk, he dumped the acid onto the left side of Iruka's face.

And Iruka _howled._

The Joker ignored the screams wholly that followed. Whistling softly he walked away, leaving Hinata to follow.

"Its a wonderful thing, isn't it?" Naruto chuckled, slinging an arm around her. "Beauty and the beast. Of course, if anyone else tries to call ya a beast, I'll have to rip their lungs out through their nose. Huh. Can you even do that, I wonder? Guess I'll find out one of these days! AHAHAHA! Now," coughing, he short her a glance, "We're gonna have to lay low for a little while, ya know, take care of a few things. A few items on the to-do list while the heat wears down. But don't worry. Its all part of the plan." Hinata simply smiled and curled her head into the crook of his neck, happy and content as he continued to speak.

"Whatever you say...

 _...puddin."_

Naruto paused, silent for a long moment.

Then, incredibly, he snickered.

"Puddin'? I like that...

And he laughed.

* * *

Hours later, only a few blocks away, someone else started laughing.

Rather, she was _sobbing._

Ino Yamanaka felt as if her mind had broken a thousand times, shattered, reformed, only to break again. Everything was coming apart at the seams. No one understood. Not her mother, not her father, not anyone. She had cried herself dry long ago, exhausted all her tears, and just when she thought she could take no more...

"Why...why me?!"

...this happened.

Sakura was gone. Sasuke was gone. The two lights in her life gone, extinguished, less than a month apart. No one could find them, their killer, but she knew. Someone had taken them. _Now_ , someone had taken Sensei, the one person she'd just begun to confide in, to talk to, to open up to. Now he was gone, or at the very least incapacitated, half of his face horribly scarred. They weren't allowing any visitors, which wouldn't have been so bad, but she'd taken one look at him when they'd found him and...kami!

Once again she felt alone. Adrift. Disconnected. As if someone had pulled the stopper on her reality, leaving all her thoughts to wash away, down the drain.

"There, there," she cooed softly, watering her mother's roses, "It's alright, babies. Mommy's here...

What did she have left?

Nearly nothing.

All she had were her flowers. Her plants...

...her plants...

* * *

 _(Three months, four hours and seventeen minutes later...)_

* * *

"Evening, Hokage-sama."

...no.

Sarutobi jerked up from his desk with a start when the door to his office slammed violently open; and that was only the beginning of the sick joke. His kunai never reached the air, instead, lurching violently as a pair of bodies were thrown at his feet. He recognized them immediately. Koharu. Homura. But their faces...they were wrong, somehow. Frozen in sick and twisted grins, almost as if they'd been laughing mere moments before death. That didn't sound like his teammates. Not at all.

"Who's there?!"

"Ah ha, ha, ha...hee...ahooo...ha." came the answer, a slow, sinister laugh strangling his senses. "Don't you recognize a corpse when you see one? And I thought my jokes were bad!"

"Aw, what's wrong?" A new voice purred. "Don't like the present?"

"Shush, Hinata."

"Whatever you say, puddin."

Hiruzen had seen the aftermath of the accident, he had been there in the hospital when Naruto had been lain in that bed, his skin bleached white, his mouth scarred. Even now, he couldn't quite suppress the flinch that followed as he laid eye on Uzumaki Naruto. It was like looking at a derranged clown in a purple suit, a clown who had stolen scroll after scroll right out from under his nose, a clown who was far more brilliant than he'd ever given him credit for.

"Hinata," Joker drawled, "Lock the door and keep an eye out for intruders. We wouldn't want to be interrupted now, would we?"

"Sure thing, sweetie." She chimed, sashaying past him, loose garments of red and black ruffling slightly with each step. Hinata? Was that Hinata? Sarutobi scarcely recognized the heiress with her hair cut short-bleached skin aside-and her new manner of dress. It was as if he were looking at an entirely different creature altogether.

Ah, now it all made sense, then if he had the Hyuuga girl with him, then. Kumo hadn't kidnapped her after all, it seemed. They'd been wrong all along, poking a sleeping giant, for nothing. It would certainly explain how he'd been able to hide himself from the eyes of the Hyuuga clan if he knew about their blind spot.

Naruto, the boy he'd sworn to Minato he would protect. Nourish. Safeguard. Naruto, who had gone missing, Narut,o whom, incredibly, no one had seen for the last three months. Naruto, whom everyone claimed was a monster, who was _killing people._ Naruto, who he refused to investigate, because he simply couldn't believe that such a sweet boy would ever do this. Naruto, who had scarred and broken poor, poor Iruka, turning him into that twisted creature the village now knew as Two-Face.

...Naruto, who had come here now, in the dead of night, to kill him.

"So?" he drawled. "Aren't you going to say anything? Make an excuse? Tell a joke?

"Naruto...we did it for your own protection!" Sarutobi exclaimed! "We never meant to hurt you! You must understand! Stop this madness!

"What madness? The gas attack in the streets? The murders? The fear? The panic? You're going to have to be a _liiiiiiittle_ more specific, old man. Eh, doesn't matter." He shrugged, walking past him as though he weren't even truly there. "This town'll be crippled in the next five minutes regardless of what you do." a hand gestured outward, indicating the furious masses below. "It'll never recover. Instead, it'll die a slow, slow death as all of its enemies pick it apart...

"I will not let you harm this village so long as I live!"

"I'm so glad you understand."

Naruto's arm jerked up, even as the Hokage surged forward to stop him.

 _Psssssssssssssssssst!_

Sarutobi sputtered madly as the can of aerosol went off in his face, taking away his breath. Inhaling sharply he waved his hands at the strange green mist, trying to dispel it, and only succeeded in choking even more of it down. Then the chuckling started. Odd. He didn't find this funny. Still his body kept laughing. No, this wasn't a joke. It wasn't funny...at all. In fact, it was the _opposite_ of humorous. The village was in peril, threatened with doom or worse, so why...why...why couldn't...he...stop...laughing?!

"What's so funny, old man?"

Wheezing, he reached for the Joker, but the clown simply stepped out of his way, allowing the old man to trip over the corpses of his advisors.

"You know...this village is like a bad joke." Naruto resumed his pacing, stepping leisurely over his twitching form. "I mean, just take a look at the others! They're fucked up of course -lets face it, they all are- but at least they did _something_ right! But you, no, you thought it would be a good idea to hide the truth. Bury it deep and pray that no one would ever find out. Well, I found out!"

"Wow, that looked like it _really_ hurt."

Naruto sighed, nudging the mangled corpses at his feet.

The Hokage and his advisors been oh-so-serious in the beginning, but by the end they laughed, just like the others. It was funny, really. He'd expected to feel something-anything-when he stared down at the old man's body, his face frozen in a deep, deranged grin. Pity. Remorse, even. Perhaps even a touch of glee. He hadn't thought the gas would kill them slowly but it had and they'd died, choking on their own laughter. Fascinating fascinating, yet still he wondered.

 _Why don't I feel anything?_

Only apathy.

Sighing, he pushed a hand through his messy green hair and smacked his lips, new eyes twitching. Well, he was done here. There could be no more bad joke of a village for him now, not after what he'd done. Ah, well, not like it mattered, anyway. This village had long since exhausted its usefulness for him, anyway. He could already hear the riots below, the panic in the streets. People demanding that their oh-so-precious hokage do something, anything-and they didn't even know that their precious leader was dead as a doorknob!

It'd be funny if it weren't so grisly...oh what the hell! He'd laugh again anyway!

"Wow. After that grandiose speech, I was expecting more of a well, fight. It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic...oh what the heck, I'll laugh anyway! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Who am I kidding?!" Cackling, he reached down turning the old man's frozen face up to meet his. "What was that about the last laugh, old man?!"

Silence answered him.

"Oh. Right. He's dead." Straightening, he dabbed a bit of blood from his cheek. "Sweetheart, be a dear and clean up this mess, will you?"

Hinata's sweet, cheery voice answered him.

"Whatever you say, puddin'!"

"Right, right, good girl. Be sure to cover your ears." Naruto barely even heard her reply to that one, he was already spreading his senses outward, direction his attention to the countless tags strewn across the village. It hadn't been easy; it had taken days, weeks, months even, but he had what he needed. Ironically, the Hokage Tower was the one placed he'd neglected to mark, if only for fear of being caught. But the gas had done the work he needed it to do and now...

"Time for the show," he hummed, reaching inside his purple vest.

It wasn't anything personal-alright, maybe it was-it was about sending a message. He grabbed them tight in his mind's eyes, gave a hard tug on the catalyst in his hand, and felt them begin to burn.

You don't fuck with a clown.

"And here...

...we...

...go...

 _BOOM._

 **A/N: NARUTO...AS THE JOKER?! Or at least, a twisted alternate version of...care to guess who his "Quinn" is gonna be, eh?! Now, various forms of other "Batman" villiians may, of course, pop up in this story, as I'm sure you've guessed. For example, Haku suits Freeze just fine, don't you think? If you think Naruto's the only one whose going to go off his rocker by the end of this story, then ye be wrong there! Dead wrong!**

 **Other examples of villains here would be Quinn, Killer Croc, Riddler, Scarecrow, Bane, Poison Ivy, the lovely Copperhead(Now Ain't that An Obvious One!) Two Face, so on and so forth...Be sure to vote on such things because as of next chapter, everything gets blown out of the water!**

 **And I don't think I need to say who our "Dark Knight" of Konoha is in this story. Here's a hint. His name starts and ENDS with an "I".**

 **Oh dear god... LET THE INSANITY FLOW FORTH LIKE BLOOD FROM AN OPEN WOUND! In case you haven't guessed, this fic is going to be a little more...ah...CRAZY during the rest, so I do hope you all enjoy the madness and hilarity that is sure to follow.**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? Hope you enjoyed the story! And of course, enjoy the preview! Hope it makes ya grin at the madness! Seems Naruto's found himself a partner...or has he? WARNING! DARK AND CREEPY AS HELL! And an OMAKE as well!**

 **(Preview)**

 _"Penguin."_

 _"Huh?" Gatou blinked._

 _"Anybody ever tell you ya look like a...Penguin?" Joker asked, humming softly as he twirled the ball-point pen in his fingers. "Just think about it for a second, you're a midget, you've got the nose...and nobody bloody likes you. Also I feel I should mention...I HATE penguins."_

 _"You little fucker! You think you can steal from me?! I have powerful friends, you shit! I-URK?!"_

 _Before he finished, he found his hand frozen, encased in ice and pinned to the wall. "Let me go, you punk! You let me go right FUCKING NOW-!" Another numbing blast of cold shot out, trapping the other limb even as he squealed like the terrified bird for which he'd acquired his name._

 _"Funny thing about that," Naruto hummed, cocking his hand back, pen in palm, "I have friends too. And unlike you, I actually reward them for their services. Thanks, Freeze."_

 _Gatou felt his blood turn to ice much like the tundra trapping him when he saw the shadow detach itself from the wall. Haku?! Zabuza's little bitch?!_

 _"YOU-_

 ** _THUNK._**

 _Whatever else he might've said died as that pen thudded into his throat._

 _"_ _Its kinda sad, really." Naruto bemoaned, shrugging his shoulders helplessly. "I was willing to work with you, make use of your infrastructure, but now? Now I think I'll just take your money-oh, wait. he's dead." With a merry whistle, the Joker reached down, plucking his impromptu weapon from the greasy mogul's throat. A mad cackle leaped from his lips._

 _"Then pen truly is mightier than the sword!"_

 ** _(Omake!)_**

 _Itachi twitched._

 _"Why so serious, Itachi?" Naruto yawned, lounging on the ruined chair, his weight causing the broken piece of furniture to creak traitorously. "Or is it Dark Knight now? I only murdered your brother and sold his eyes to the highest bidder! And why the mask? Did I miss Halloween or something? Or maybe you're just so depressed that you have to hide here, in your precious house, where you BUTCHERED your own FAMILY-_

 _The kunai started flying shortly thereafter. Cackling the blond dove out the window._

 _"EXIT STAGE LEFT!"_

 **R &R~! =D**


	4. We Are Tonight's Entertainment!

**A/N: I'M ON A REBOUND HERE FOLKS! PUMPING OUT CHAPTERS LIKE CRAZY! HOPE YA'LL LIKE IT! In other news, this has been moved into the Batman Begins/Dark Knight crossover section, as I felt it fit more given the theme. Hope that explains things!**

 **Now...back to the main bit.**

 **HOLY CRAP SO MUCH SUPPORT! I return my subjects! For any wondering, YES I have been doing many things involved with the Joker as of late. Why, you ask? Because in all honesty, I'm not sure how Jared Leto is going to measure up to legends like Heath Ledger, Mark Hamill, and more recently, Troy Baker. I mean, I saw the Suicide Squad trailer and I was, well...kinda mixed on it.**

 **Still, back to the reason I'm writing this dark little masterpiece.**

 **I have seen, many fanfics. Some, in which the Joker even takes in Naruto-wow-and a few of those are quite good. But what I haven't seen, or yet to see rather, is this exact scenario taking place, the one that I concocted in my head. See, I got burned the other day by some chemicals while working on the job.**

 **Yup, ouch ouch and OUCH!**

 **Nothing too bad, mind you but I messed up my right arm and part of my face pretty bad. Burns like hell! They said I was lucky. Riiiiiight. And ironically, as I'd sat there in my bed, recovering...**

 **...this idea just popped out.**

 **when I saw that there were so few Naruto crossovers with it and all the INSANITY that takes places throughout, well, the gears in my mind got to turning.** **As another note, this is, in a distant way of its own, a part sort the "Not Going Home" series as a whole, chronicling the adventures of our dimension hopping blond as he wreaks chaos wherever he goes, including alternate ones that may or may not involve different "versions" of himself, as it were.**

 **However, this takes a bit of a dark turn early on, AS IN RIGHT NOW, because we see something horrible happen and in a way, he's sort of responsible for it. READ CAREFULLY! This chronicles one of the earlier adventure's in Not Going Home, the THIRD to be exact, in which Naruto tries creating his own universe, based on what he's seen thus far.**

 **...needless to say, it doesn't end well.**

 **I won't spoil it, so be sure to read on!**

 **Again, before reading this, I SERIOUSLY suggest you stop and read Not Going Home and all its companions, first.**

 **ALSO!**

 **RESTORED!**

 **I've talked with the ADmins and gotten my works back, but I have to edit them so they can fit within the guidelines once again!**

 **Viper, Dawn of Daybreak, Conqueror of Nations, Red Wing, Hurt, Blade of the Kitsune and Counting Stars, all of which were deleted by FANFICTION for some reason due to having a supposedly explicit rating, they are now BACK, reviews and all!**

 **HUZZAH!**

 **LET THE NEW ERA BEGIN! Also yes, insanity abounds here so...**

 **...off we go! I proudly present NOT A JOKE! WARNING! ITS KINDA DARK! Remember, this fic is dark, and also quite crackish-NOT A PARODY!-so while I ask you to take it seriously, I do hope that you won't take it too seriously and enjoy it to the fullest, dear reader. Hope ya like it! By popular demand and dozens of PM's, here's the next chapter! This story's gonna be a long one, and I fully intend to continue it! I'll say this right now, Hinata IS involved in this fic, SO FOR THOSE WHO DON'T LIKE HER, PLEASE DON'T HATE!**

 **ALSO! I HAVE _HEARD_ YOUR VILLAIN SUGGESTIONS! YER GONNA LUV 'EM!**

 **I AM updating my other works, but I'm on a roll with this one, and my muse won't let me be! So for now...**

 **...WHY SO SERIOUS? NARUTO GOES FULL MENTAL IN THIS AND I PAY HOMAGE TO A LOOOOT OF JOKER'S!**

 **NOW BEHOLD NIGHTWING AND ROBIN AND MANY MORE!**

 _"Owowowowow! Never start with the head! The victim gets all fuzzy and won't feel the next..._

 _WHAM!_

 _...see?"_

 _~Naruto/Joker?!_

 **Entertainment**

 _Ladis and gentlemen...I am EXCITED!_

 _Do you know how I feel?_

 _Sometimes...sometimes I feel like I'm trapped on this path leading nowhere - into just emptiness. Break this, kill this person, prank that...it begins to get a little stale after awhile. Where's the pizazz? The laughter? The killing joke that makes you laugh SO HARD you keel over and **die?!** For the longest time, for THREE BORING MONTHS I've had nothing to test myself against! No one to match wits with...to conspire with..._

 _Oh sure, I've got someone with me now, someone to share the journey with, but still! Do you have any idea how BORED I was?_ _But now...NOW I've gotten what I always wanted! Resistance!_ _And yet like a child peeking at his presents before Christmas...its oddly anticlimatic._

 _I mean, seriously, Nightwing? Robin? Who calls themselves that? I think a Bat would be better, but that's just me..._

 _...still, an adversary! FINALLY!_

 _I feel adrift -floating- like someone's pulled the stopper on my reality and I'm SUCKED down the drain into something new. It's all very exciting really. You wouldn't know what that feels like, I'm sure. It's like meeting someone I can actually relate to besides Hinata, which believe me, dear, DEAR reader, I've never felt before. Not since they tossed me in that tub of acid and left me to die. It all about understanding really; you have to take that fear and let go-_

 ** _Fall._**

 _Free falling._

 _Without a chute!_

 _Lets go over what happened in those three months, how this all came to be. Revisit it, shall we? Just a glimpse. A bit of their...perspective. So you can...better understand things. The People. Places. My little freefall into the happy creature I am now. The mischief we made, pranks played, even the monsters-heroes-I unwittingly created. Like this Nightwing guy. Betcha wonderin' where he came from, huh? I mean, he wasn't there last chapter! HA! Ohh, don't you just LOVE breaking the fourth wall?_

 _Its like breaking everything else!_

 _Like him!_

 _Like someone very, very special, but whose **real** name I don't even know yet. And all this, in the name of..._

 _...entertainment._

* * *

Nightwing was the first to truly witness the explosions.

"My god...

 _"What?"_ the voice crackled in his earpiece, a harsh squeal of static momentarily overtaking the words, " _What do you see?"_ As if to answer that very question, another fireball blasted itself across night sky. A pang of cold dread seized his gut and strangled it. How many lives had the Joker just taken? How many?

...I think hell just paid the village a house call, Ten."

 _"Now is NOT the time for Jokes, Nightwing!"_

Another series of blasts replied.

He heard them as a deafening _crack_ of sound around Konoha, saw them as a blinding white flare against the black and white of his Byakugan. From his perch atop the Hyuuga Compound he saw it all. And it _burned._ For a terrifying instant _Nightwing_ was blind, the searing white light scorching into his retina with sound and fury as the blast washed over him, taking all his world away. Then came the shock wave. A concussive blast ripped the masked Hyuuga out off his perch before he could brace himself, tearing him free from his shadowy perch and dashing him against the ground with a painful thud.

Naturally made of sterner stuff than the average shinobi, the black-clad avenger staggered upright, shook himself off, and gathered his body up to leap-

-until the next blast hit.

This one was less than three meters away, and it hit him like one of Lee's punches, hurling him against a brick wall.

 _Snick._

Even through the armor he felt a rib crack; inhaled sharply a the breath exploded from his lungs. His body instinctively curled inward, the blue-black suit shielding him from shrapnel and debris. Blooded pounded against his ears and he tasted the foul ichor in his mouth. His ears rang deafeningly and he chastised himself for the mistake. He wasn't a rookie anymore. This shouldn't have floored him. He shouldn't be crippled by something as simple as a fractured rib. But it had, and he was.

In an instant it was three months ago, and he was reliving the god-awful pain all over again.

His mind drifted back to his very first outing...

* * *

 _(Flashback, three months earlier...)_

 _"Shit."_

 _The word was a hiss, an agonizing snarl as he pried the pieces of the suit away._

 _First came the gauntlets._

 _Light, hardened resin over plating, dashed with the blood of the mugging he'd stopped. They fell away first, clattering harshly against the floor of the cave. Nightwing glanced down at the bruised knuckles beneath those black plates, reminding himself to wrap them, later. When he had time. IF he had time, he told himself, pulling the rest of the getup free, wincing slightly as his bruised body protested the incessant movement/abuse of it muscles._

 _The avenger grunted softly, prying the mask free from his eyes. Whoever said the life of a superhero was a glamorous one never wore a suit. He was hot, sticky, sweaty, and worst of all, he STANK. He'd need to shower for hours if he wanted to get the stench off of him from being out all night. His sole solace was that he'd cut his hair short since donning this guise, otherwise he'd waste an entire day merely getting clean._

 _A prodigy he might be, but there were limits to what even he could do against so many madmen._

 _The village seemed to become more and more violent by the week; even ranked shinobi were succumbing to madness these days. All because of one man. He might have found it funny under any other circumstance; a single act of unecessary violence had spawned a monster, one the village couldn't catch, couldn't collar, couldn't control. It had also spawned him, but he didn't think himself a monster, no matter what others might say about him-_

 _"Where the hell did you find **that** getup?"_

 _"Shit." Neji froze as a new voice interjected itself amongst his thoughts, a small shadow detaching itself from the shadows of the cave. Hurriedly, he jammed the mask back on. A soft, lilting laugh greeted him. A pair of pale eyes glittered in the black, narrow and amused as they stepped into the light. Neji felt himself deflate as he recognized her his cousin._

 _"I know that's you, Neji." Hanabi was ginning._

 _...damnit."_

 _Peeling the half-mask away from his face once more, he turned to face her. "I can explain..._

 _"Oh, I'm sure you can." the little Hyuuga remained inordinately smug. "Go ahead. Try to tell me this is all a genjutsu or something." For a moment, Neji seriously considered just knocking the insufferable little tyke out and playing it from there. He could tell her it was all a dream...or something. But no, one look at those pale orbs told him all he needed to know; she wasn't going to be denied, and nothing he could say, or do, for that matter was going to convince her that this was all a trick of some sort._

 _"How long." it was a sigh._

 _"For at least a week or so now. Oooooh, this is some nice tech!" Pushing past him, she dipped forward, snagging one of the gauntlets he'd dropped. "Nice try!" When he tried to grab it back from her, she simply danced away. I didn't know Ten was this good. She been practicing, or are you "helping" each other." her brow waggled suggestively and Neji felt his face color. Incorrigible little shit._

 _"You didn't answer my question."_

 _"You and Tenten kept disappearing." she flung the gauntlet back at him, snickering. "I figured either you were responsible for the Joker crimes, or you'd concocted some hair-brained scheme to stop them. Glad I wasn't wrong about that."_

 _Neji bit back the urge to snap at her._ _"This is beyond you. Get out of here."_

 _Hanabi arched an eyebrow._

 _"Try me," she quipped. "Nightwing."_

 _"I...well...oh, hell."_

 _She'd always been clever._

 _Neji had thought himself, clever too. In the beginning, he'd been such a staunch believer in fate. Always had been. But the killings, they had taken that belief and shook it apart. No, perhaps that wasn't quite right._

 _The JOKER had shaken it apart._

 _All the murders, the blatant vandalism, mysterious disappearances of these last three months -many of them members of Hyuuga branch family- weren't something he could ignore any longer. The Hokage wouldn't pursue the investigation; he outright ignored it, pretended everything was as it should be. Worse, the main branch, and by definition, Hiashi, refused to even acknowledge Hinata's absence as anything more than a footnote. In their eyes she was something to be forgotten, dismissed, and trod upon._

 _Make no mistake, he held no love for his cousin; but that didn't mean she couldn't be pitied._

 _No one deserved to be taken by that madman._

 _Someone had to take a stand._

 _It ended up being him._

 _It had all been a bit of a coincidence, really-he might've thought it fate if he still believed in it. He'd found the cave -or the Batcave as he was beginning to consider calling it thanks to its furry, flying residents- long ago when he was a child. He'd fallen in, trapped for hours with nothing but bats, until his father finally found him, plucked him from the depths, and brought him back into the light. And he was trying so hard to stay in that light, now, more than ever..._

 _He hadn't thought about it again until the murders began. A man with horns had suggested the idea to him, and it just seemed to click, somehow._

 _From there, it had come together almost remarkably well. Tenten was more than willing to help when he'd come to her with the plan._

 _...Lee...well, they weren't telling him about it. He was mad enough WITHOUT a suit giving him an excuse to go out and fright crime. Guy-sensei was another beast entirely..._

 _So no, they couldn't be trusted with the secret of the suit, or the responsibility that came with it._

 _The armor itself was easy enough to come by if you knew where to look and whom to ask; no one was going to question a prestigious member of the Hyuuga when they asked for a spare. And with all the chaos raging in town, no one was going to miss that bit of Anbu armor if it mysteriously vanished. And when your weapon-crazy friend helped modify said armor...well, the proof was in the pudding as they said. And proof or not, it just wasn't in him to quite, even after being discovered by a member of the family._

 _"You didn't see anything. You can't tell anyone."_

 _Hanabi raised her hands, laughing._

 _"Tell? Screw that I wanna JOIN you! You and Tenten are doing what everyone else is afraid to do! You're taking on the Joker!"_

 _...you do know I've never actually MET him, right?"_

 _"Doesn't matter! So, so, so? Can I?"_

 _"No." the word was out before he could even think to finish the thought. Being Nightwing, wearing the mask, it had opened his eyes. This was a hard life, not one for a child. The things he and Ten did to try and hold Konoha together weren't right, they weren't good, sometimes, they weren't even ethical. Some days he found himself wondering if you shouldn't just hunt down all the criminals in Konoha and kill them outright-no, he couldn't do that, killing would make him just as bad as the Joker._

 _And if he dragged his kid cousin into this and she got hurt...he'd never forgive himself._

 _"C'mon, pleaaaaaaase!" Hanabi begged! "I'm not like Hinata; I know how to fight! I'm nearly as good as you! Joker'll never know what hit him! Besides," her smile dimmed somewhat, the light fading from her eyes like a dying flame, "He took my sister. He needs to pay for that. PAY for what he did."_

 _Ah, and there was the true motive, Neji realized._

 _"He'll still take you, just as he did her."_

 _"I'd sooner die than let that freak touch me!"_

 _"You will." Neji snapped back, feeling a muscle jump in his jaw. "I've_ seen _the Joker's work. You make a single mistake, and he'll chew you up and spit you back out."_

 _"I won't!"_

 _"The answer is no!"  
_

 _"You can't stop me!"_

 _Now he was just grasping at straws._

 _"You'd need a costume-_

 _"Already have one!"_

 _Neji nearly facepalmed._

 _This; this was what he was._

 _What he had become._

 _A beacon of hope._

 _A symbol._

 _A Wing in the Night._

 _(End Flashback)_

* * *

 _ **"NEJI!"**_

And then it all came rushing back with a pop, sounding flooding in with the voice in his ear. He hung there for a long moment, fingers digging against the soil, groaning. Then he remembered where he was. Who he was, why he was doing this and why he was here. The world swam around him like some great, maddened ocean, swaying too and fro. Somewhere in the distance, he heard more explosions. More orange lights against those bright stars in the night, so pretty, so beautiful...

 _"Get the hell up, dumbass!"_

A squeal of static set every nerve in his right ear on fire, jolting him back to the world. A massive weight sat on his chest; part of the wall had collapsed, pinning him where he lay. Buried beneath the rubble, he fought valiantly to wriggle free, but to no avail. You'd need some crazy strength like Lee's to move a wall like this, let alone-

And then the weight vanished.

It was suddenly gone, leaving him to tumble free into the wreckage.

"Ah, hell." A rough voice drawled somewhere behind him, and for a moment he thought he saw horns in the smoke, a thick hand reaching through to toss the wall away. "I've done it now. This is the last freebie you get, kid. Don't make me regret it."

Before he could protest, they were gone.

 _"Get out of there!"_

Jerking upright, Nightwing spat a bloody gob from his mouth, and rolled backwards as a burning beam crashed into where he had lain only a moment before. Fire and flame raged around him and without thinking, he flung himself into the first opening he found, leaping clear of the burning wreck. A ponderous creaking noise greeted his ears, and he turned towards it, half-expecting to find some fresh new hell there, another trap of some sort, but...

...nothing.

The Hyuuga Compound was gone.

He'd gotten free just in time to see the roof collapse. With a harsh crack, the building he'd once called home caved in on itself, unable to tolerate the weight. Supports and pillars crumbled, smothering everything. If there had been life within, there certainly wasn't any now. Smoke and flame poured from every orifice, destroying all within as he looked on, helpless.

All that remained was a burning husk.

"Oracle." after what felt like an eternity, Nightwing, Neji, finally found his voice. "Robin. Where is she?"

The reply was mercifully swift.

 _"Robin's on crowd control, but..._

Neji felt his chest become just a little lighter. If Hanabi hadn't insisted on going out tonight...he shuddered at the thought. Wait.

"But?"

 _"Nightwing...the Hokage's dead. He's been murdered."_

Just like that, the dread came howling back. With a vengeance.

"Jesus...when? How? Do I even want to know?

 _"Joker."_ it was a growl.

"That's right!"

CLUNK!

A bat crashed into the back of Nightwing's head, staggering him. Whomever it was had swung from his blind spot, that one area in which the Byakugan couldn't reach. In that instant, he felt the full force of the bludgeon metal against his head, cracking angrily against his skull.

"Well, look who it is!" a cheery voice sing-songed. "Bird Boy finally came out to play!"

Nightwing spun, struggling to steady himself even as his skull screamed.

"Hinata...?"

"Huh? You know me, bird brain?"

She looked...well, she looked frightening.

She had changed, beyond the pale face, beyond the snow-white skin. Her once long locks had been cut almost boyishly short, the midnight tresses hanging down just past her ears. She wore a strange series of red and black skirts, whenever she moved he thought he caught a glint of steel between them. Weapons? Her body moved with a fluid grace, that hadn't been there when he'd seen her last, eyes bright and wide with a strange, perverse glee.

"Ah, here we go!" she beamed happily, dancing away. "You're just in time for the finale! Mistah J thought you'd miss out on the fun!"

"Where is he?!"

His cousin's only response was a merry grin.

 _"Why so serious?"_

* * *

Ayame woke to a pair of cats nudging her face.

The last thing she remembered was the explosion, the pain, the fire searing her back. It was still there in fact, a distant ache pushing at her for attention, much like the felines licking her visage. Pretty kitties. They were so persistent, so determined, that she just couldn't seem to keep her eyes shut. But opening your eyes and standing up was another matter entirely. Yet as she lay there she felt, impossibly, strength return to her body, a sudden, inexplicable surge of energy empowering her to move, to rise, to _get the hell out of here!_

Then she saw her father's broken, blistered body beside her.

Something broke inside her, shattering like glass.

"Oh, god...I need to...I have to...

Time got funny at that.

Ayame wasn't entirely certain how or why she managed to crawl away, only that she did, dragging herself into an alley. Once there she pulled her arms around herself, clutching tight to the shredded rags of the uniform that had once been so white, so pristine. Now it was caked with ash street dirt, offering slim protection from the winter's cold. The cats followed her, regardless, curling up at her feet, offering some solace. Numbed, she stroked their fur, blank eyes staring out into the emptiness of the night. the

Reality chose that moment to come crawling back.

She couldn't remember anything beyond that wave of pain and flame...until she saw the smoldering ruin of Ichiraku Ramen, yards away. By all rights she _should_ be dead; she'd been standing just outside the shop when the bombs had gone off. And there, where she'd left it. Papa's corpse. Terror gripped her throat, strangled words when they tried to come. But they did could not deny the screams, her wailing sobs, the tears.

"Dad...

She cowered quietly as another blast consumed the block.

She had nothing now, nothing, no one at all...

The cat only purred at her feet.

 _"Meow."_

* * *

It was a good fireball in Ino's opinion; a _really_ good one. It was the sort of fireball that not even the hokage would have criticized.

Even _she_ found herself mildly impressed.

So bright that it dazzled everyone's eyes, the next blast exploded a little further back than she'd initially projected. A nearby building dissolved in a roar, and a flash of flame, spars and splinters from the shattered steel lethal as a thousand arrows loosed by master archers. Men and women were tossed into the air like broken toys, flung from the streets and buildings to the merciless ground below. Many, were already dead before they struck at all.

The entire populace seemed to sag and sway in place like a house of cards, made uncertain-unsteady-by this sudden and savage display of pyrotechnic power. More explosive notes ignited despite the humidity, tongues of fire licking up and spreading into a sheet of flame.

The entire village shuddered and shook. Tortured screams came to them over the city as countless innocents and shinobi perished, torn apart like lifeless dolls in the streets and buildings. A part of her whooped and cheered at the sight. They were just people, after all. Wasteful, cruel, hurtful people. What did it matter how many of them died? Less people to cut down her babies. If anything, she felt she owed a debt of gratitude for whomever had just wiped half the village off the face of the earth.

"Its okay, babies," she hummed softly, stroking a nearby vine. "Mommy's here. The fire won't hurt you...

After all...

Plants were all that really mattered...

* * *

Iruka felt the explosions from his bed.

Like distant a pop in his ears, faint at first but growing louder, larger, with each passing second. Before long they were loud enough to rattle his teeth, so fierce that his bed as was actually physically shaking! He tried to keep his eyes shut, to pretend that this was all some horrible, terrible dream, that he didn't look like this-that it wasn't happening, that this wasn't real-but no. When the quakes finally ceased, when he dared to open an eye...

...there he was.

Standing over him, grinning, looming like some twisted, tainted specter.

Trapped in the hospital bed, he could only glower at him.

The Joker raised a hand, offering an awkward smile in recompense for his temerity.

"Ah...hi...

Iruka thrashed mightily at the restraints but to no avail, the restraints prevented him from even reaching the young man.

"See, I don't there to be any hard feelings between us, teach, ya know?" Naruto began slowly, smacking his lips softly, crouching down beside him, "When I poured that toxic soup all over your face," he paused, tilting the man's burned visage back towards him, "I did out of love. Ya understand? I did it, because I cared. It was either that, or kill you. And lets face it...I-no," his head shook vehemently, green hair tossing this way and that like a wild salad of tousled lettuce. "I wasn't ready to kill ya."

Iruka could only growl.

"Come to think of it," Those eerie eyes swung off into the distance, regarding the flames and chaos below, "I don't think I'll ever be. Its like a bad joke, really. You couldn't kill me back then, and I still can't bring my self to kill you now. You

"LIAR!" the words, warped by his mangled mouth, tore free from him in a howl. "You enjoyed it! You MADE me like this!"

"No, no, no, I didn't-I really didn't." Joker shook his head again, hair bobbing. "In face you haven't noticed I, ah, also gave you the coin." green eyes slid to the scorched quarter on the table, just out of reach. "Say, you wanna know _why_ I gave ya the coin?" he leaned forward, those eerie green eyes glinting. "Well, I'll tell ya. Its all about...plans."

With one hand he cut Iruka free, the other, holding him down even as he thrashed upright.

"Ah...ah...AH!"

Reaching across his old mentor, he snagged the coin, and placed it in his left hand, a kunai in his right.

"The Hokage had plans," Naruto purred, pointing the knife towards his throat, "The council had plans, you had plans...and for what? Nothing. They're schemers. I'm not. And you know the thing about schemers? You do the slightest thing to interrupt their plans, the TINIEST little thing-AND EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MINDS!" Laughing, he shook his head, uncaring as the knife cut an edge into his throat. "Me, I just did what I did best. I took your little plan, and I turned it on itself...

That mangled face followed him, watching."

"Introduce a little anarchy, you upset the established order and everything becomes chaos." The Joker continued, chuckling. "I'm an agent of chaos. And you know the thing about chaos, teach? ... It's fair. Y'see, chaos, _chaos_ is the only solution when it comes to tyranny. Unbiased. Fair."

Chance.

Fair.

FAIR...

Iruka squeezed the coin until he felt its cool, metal edge cut into his fingers. His eyes slid towards it, considering, contemplating. And in that instant, he made a choice.

"You live," he showed the clean half, "You die." then the scarred side.

All he received was that insufferable smile.

"Ready to introduce a little anarchy, then, are we?"

Iruka tossed the coin, both men, following it with their eyes.

It landed...

...and Two-Face lowered the knife.

Naruto cackled.

 _"Now that's more like it."_

 **A/N: NARUTO...AS THE JOKER?! Or at least, a twisted alternate version of...care to guess who his "Quinn" is gonna be, eh?! Now, various forms of other "Batman" villiians may, of course, pop up in this story, as I'm sure you've guessed. For example, Haku suits Freeze just fine, don't you think? If you think Naruto's the only one whose going to go off his rocker by the end of this story, then ye be wrong there! Dead wrong!**

 **Other examples of villains here would be Quinn, Killer Croc, Riddler, Scarecrow, Bane, Poison Ivy, the lovely Copperhead(Now Ain't that An Obvious One!) Two Face, so on and so forth...Be sure to vote on such things because as of next chapter, everything gets blown out of the water!**

 **And I don't think I need to say who our "Dark Knight" of Konoha is in this story. Here's a hint. His name starts and ENDS with an "I".**

 **Oh dear god... LET THE INSANITY FLOW FORTH LIKE BLOOD FROM AN OPEN WOUND! In case you haven't guessed, this fic is going to be a little more...ah...CRAZY during the rest, so I do hope you all enjoy the madness and hilarity that is sure to follow.**

 **So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly? Hope you enjoyed the story! And of course, enjoy the preview! Hope it makes ya grin at the madness! Seems Naruto's found himself a partner...or has he? WARNING! DARK AND CREEPY AS HELL!**

 **(Preview)**

 _Green eyes flicked towards the hulking form of Bane._

 _"Move it along, big boy."_

 _"No."_

 _"No?" Joker frowned, cocking his head. Beside him, Hinata gawped._

 _Bane refused to move._

 _"They will be coming here, the crow and the bats. For you." a massive hand pushed down on the slim man's shoulder, roughly thrusting him into the chair and sending him spinning like a top. "So **you** wait." If he expected a challenge from the demented clown, he didn't get one, all he received was that silly, tittering laugh, the kind that didn't care if the whole world burned; so long as he had his fun. Even now he was still spinning, cackling, without a care in the world._

 _"Well, this'll be interesting..."_

 **R &R~! =D**


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